Janingalina

the night before i left for .de for this trip, I visited my shrink. that lady rocks.

basically i was looking at my life as forking in 2 directions. i'd been to all of these great family events, but they had all happened in the last 2 months. i had a boy saying he wanted to marry me, and start a family of our own. i want a family. really i do. and i plan to be married before i take on any dependents.

but i was seeing my life as being one of two things, 1. marry the guy now, because i'm in the family mood, but still kind of terrified and thinking it's probably not the right thing for me. or 2. flitter off to Europe, be far from my family, ditch this marriageable gentleman, and see what the old Continent has to offer.

It helped to look at it this way: marriage is a dress that i see other people wearing. it looks good on them. i don't know how it feels, but it looks good. it's a dress i've already tried on. it itched, i couldn't really breathe, and it had RUFFLES. i'm a slinky dress kinda gal, ruffles don't suit me.

so last time i tore off the ruffles, unzipped it, and felt a lot better. i'm still not ready for that dress. i can't take long enough strides in it.

Europa it is. and only 6 time zones from most of my family. A quick plane flight over, something I can definitely do, especially with the extra vaction time (27 days/year + 12 holidays), and the guaranteed one flight home/year. 's alles gut.