28 June 2006
preparations and decisions
so this trip to .de is going to be a look and see trip. i'm going to go check out the company in hallstadt and surroundings, figure out if i could live in their apartments, shop in their grocery stores, bike shops, yarn stores, and whatever.
mm.
a decision. a committment. this is what is needed.
the company is pressing forth, though, with the assumption that i'll be choosing the move.
i still have a decision to make. and i'm freaked. i'll be fine one minute and gasping sobs the next. i'm trying to hold it down at work, save those feelings for later. but i well up now and then.
thank god my shrink is going to fit me in tomorrow before i leave.
with that whole grandfather thing that just happened, and the happy family wedding i attended with scott this past weekend, i just keep thinking about what i could/would/might be missing in the lives of the people i love.
my mom and dad were so sad when my sister moved away. i just know they're going to be sad again, and plus i'm going to miss the hell out of them. grandma is getting up there, and not doing so well these days.
mm.
a decision. a committment. this is what is needed.
the company is pressing forth, though, with the assumption that i'll be choosing the move.
i still have a decision to make. and i'm freaked. i'll be fine one minute and gasping sobs the next. i'm trying to hold it down at work, save those feelings for later. but i well up now and then.
thank god my shrink is going to fit me in tomorrow before i leave.
with that whole grandfather thing that just happened, and the happy family wedding i attended with scott this past weekend, i just keep thinking about what i could/would/might be missing in the lives of the people i love.
my mom and dad were so sad when my sister moved away. i just know they're going to be sad again, and plus i'm going to miss the hell out of them. grandma is getting up there, and not doing so well these days.
Jane, get me off this crazy thing... called "love".
